And Baby Makes Three: Transitions and New Beginnings
At the end of one of my favorite books of all time, Eat Pray Love, author Liz Gilbert defines her word as Attraversiamo. It's an Italian word meaning, "let's cross over." It represents a shift from where you are to where you will go, who you were to who you are becoming.When I hear that word I think, "onward, upward, here we go." It feels like a smooth transition, one that isn't forced upon you per se, but welcomed, not without some fear or hesitation, but also with an open heart and mind. For the past four months, I too have adopted attraversiamo as my own.On June 27, after my eighth pregnancy test, it was confirmed that Ross and I were expecting a sweet addition to our family. We were one month out from a move away from Austin across the world to South Korea, and in no reality was a baby part of our plan. We sat with it, we breathed into it, and after the passing of my dad a couple months earlier, we knew this soul was absolutely meant to be with us at this time. Attraversiamo, here we go.Moving with graceAnd so, a new beginning is born and a transition embraced. Currently, I am doing my best to move through these changing times with grace. Grace is literally defined as simple elegance or refinement of movement, but it's difficult to define grace as it's a feeling, an experience.I feel grace as an allowing, a flow, an openness to being with what is with a deep and profound okay-ness. Giving ourselves and those who are a part of our lives grace is one of the very best gifts we can offer. And grace, in times of change and new beginnings, what a blessing.If you too are in a period of change (really, when are we not), here are a few ways I am moving through transitions and new beginnings with grace (or at least doing my best to):
1. Recognition
“Something amazing happens when we surrender and just love. We melt into another world, a realm of power already within us. The world changes when we change. The world softens when we soften. The world loves us when we choose to love the world.” ― Marianne Williamson
One of my favorite quotes/teachings from my time working with a personal development company right out of college was, "energy flows where attention goes." Right when I found out I was pregnant I texted my mom "may day!" then promptly sobbed on the phone to her for a good ten minutes. My mind immediately went to what was no longer possible for us: traveling to and living in South Korea, a certain level of freedom, and all the lifestyle changes that inevitably lie ahead for us.After sitting with it for a few days, my perspective shifted to recognizing what was good and working about this situation. I have a wonderful, loving husband who was ready, willing, and excited to go on this journey with me. As a digital nomad and remote worker, we have the ability to consciously choose where we want to bring this baby into the world. We are still currently deciding between Austin, Texas, Bozeman, Montana, and Costa Rica. I have the time, the financial resources, and love available to care for this baby. These insights soothed my worried mind and even allowed me to create space for excitement.The question: What is currently working, what's good, what's flowing, what's alive and inspired for you regarding your changing situation?
2. Excitement
No matter how big, scary, or overwhelming the shift that's unfolding, there is always a feeling of excitement. I heard it once said that both fear and excitement create the same physical sensations in the body - palpating heart, sweaty palms, apprehension - but it's a choice as to how we choose to define it.While I could most definitely be scared, and there are moments of that, more than anything I am excited about the new future that awaits me. I am excited about guiding a little baby through this world and teaching him how to be kind, and loving, and good; how to be a leader, to think for himself, and to create his own powerful reality. I am excited about going on this journey with Ross and deepening our physical, emotional, and spiritual connection. I am excited about the personal transformation that will unfold for me and the way this experience will shift my perspective of the world as a mother, woman, and international traveler.The question: What's exciting about your change? In what ways can you shift the sensation of fear to one of excitement?
3. Acceptance + Surrender
“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ― Eckhart Tolle
Last year during our year of travel around the world, a theme emerged: even my best-laid plans, didn't go to plan. From Italy we were planning on heading to India for three months, but a last minute job shift landed us in Bali instead. After a year back in Austin we were all set to move to South Korea, and surprise, we found out baby was on the way! About shift.As a spiritual seeker and student, I have come to believe that there is a greater plan beyond what I am currently experiencing. Think about it: if you hadn't gotten on that train, you wouldn't have met your partner. If your friend hadn't forced you to come out for her birthday, you would have missed the connection for your new job. Life happens in a series of brief, game-changing moments.Two days before my website was to launch my web designer emailed me asking for two more photos. I went to Facebook for a request for a last minute photographer that led me to a random woman's house that evening where I met my now husband. I really didn't want to do that photoshoot. I was exhausted after a long day of work and annoyed I was still needing to take care of these details at the last minute, but alas, there was a divine reason why. And here we are.The question: What can you surrender? Where is your idea of how it should be interfering with how it actually is? What if this is exactly how it's meant to be? Can you accept that?*All of these questions have served me greatly over the last four months.
4. Guidance
“You cannot fulfil God's purposes for your life while focusing on your own plans. ” ― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?
Whenever I sit down to meditate, or in the intentional quiet moments in the morning, my prayer is always the same: "May we be protected and blessed. May the Universe nourish us, giving us strength to work together for the good of humanity. May our learning be brilliant and purposeful. May we be guided towards our destiny and trust in the path that unfolds. Please, show me the way."My prayer is one of guidance, of an ability to live in and trust the flow of life as it plays out before me. As a planner, this has always been one of my greatest challenges. I know that I have the power, the language, and the force to manipulate situations to work in my favor, but who does that serve other than my own ego? It leaves no room for magic and for grace.Everything became a whole lot easier and more fun when I learned to let myself be guided. I trust that I am being guided and there is a divine reason this baby has come to us at this moment in time.I pass this prayer onto you now. May you put it to use in your own daily life in the way that will serve your highest good and heart.To our beloved baby boy, we can't wait to meet you.